Spongebob Absorbs Controversy

A brief interruption of Playboy TV’s Night Calls by Nickelodeon’s Spongebob Squarepants has challenged the morals of a small community outside Saginaw,Michigan. Though the cable company has taken responsibility for the electrical glitch, parents and children have voiced concern over the repercussions of witnessing Nickelodeon’s controversial program.

Heather Wiley, age 7, is the young woman spearheading the campaign. Heather’s father, Randy, was comfortably watching the midnight rerun of Night Calls, when he was stunned to find a graphic depiction of the sponge-like character crying gushes of water and pivoting as though he were a sprinkler. The channel switched back to Juli Ashton instructing a paraplegic how to masturbate before Wiley, who happened to be walking by, could reach the remote control.

“I was just watching the two hot blonde chicks feel each other and stuff,” recalls Randy, “then there’s this scary-looking sponge walking around with bad teeth and bulging eyes. It was scary!”

Though the interruption lasted only ten and a half seconds, Wiley argues that even one second is too much. “Something must be done immediately. Our parents’ futures are at stake here,” she told reporters.

In addition to fierce litigation, Wiley plans to watch Night Calls with her father to ensure his protection should another cable mix up occur.