Top Ten Reasons to Screw in a Light Bulb

  1. The old bulb burnt out.
  2. You don’t want to piss on the floor.
  3. You’re in the segregated south.
  4. Houseboy!
  5. You’re an ethnic minority and/or holder of an unpopular job description.
  6. You’re tired of masturbating.
  7. You’re Thomas Edison and think you’re really fucking great.
  8. You’re the only male in an office full of women who make you do all the goddamn repairs no matter how easy or trivial.
  9. You’re two electrons and listening to Barry White.
  10. You’re blind and bored.