Features
- History? OK!
- The Last Great Race
- Super (Pretentious) Political Science Man!
- Stopping the Robots
- Road to Heterosexuality
- Tech Support Through History
- An Open Letter to My Fellow Americans
- Seven Episodes of the FCC
- I’m an Asshole and I Have a Time Machine
- Words from the Top
Newsflashes
- Mel Gibson Probably Anti-Semitic
- Famous Actor Vanishes
- Berdahl Announces New Classroom Renovation Plans
- Bookstore Charged with Obscenity
- Not a Single Laptop Being Used to Take Notes
- Comcast Gives Back for Not Giving
- Chancellor Excited About New Career
- Girl Alleges Boba-Related Sexual Harassment
- Shit Goes Down in Haiti
- Student Tires of Philosophy-major Girlfriend
Top Tens
- Top Ten Things Overheard on Cable Action Shows
- Top Ten Signs Your Leather Slave Might Be Gay
- Top Ten Worst World Records to Hold
- Top Ten New Snack Slogans for 12-year-olds
- Top Ten Most Unlikely “Bush in 2004” Campaign Slogans
- Top Ten Reasons to Have Sex with Berkeley Hobos
- Top Ten Lesser-known Aphorisms of Benjamin Franklin
- Top Five Most Popular Baby Names Given by Retarded Parents
- Top Ten Signs Your Roommate Is an Old Delta Bluesman
- Top Five Pickup Lines That Women Like to Hear
