Girl Alleges Boba-Related Sexual Harassment

First time boba drinker Elaine Casey is currently pressing charges against local eatery Boba Land for sexual harassment and psychological damage. Last Friday Casey, a UC Berkeley freshman from Bakersfield, ordered an almond milk tea drink and was shocked and dismayed by the response that her order elicited.

“First, the guy working there asked me if I liked balls. When I didn’t answer, he had the audacity to ask me if I wanted balls in my drink!” Casey explained. “I was disgusted. Who would ask such a question?”

At the time, Casey allegedly asked to speak to the Boba Land manager, who explained to Casey that she could “suck the balls through the straw,” describing the process as “easy and delicious!” When Casey expressed disgust and utter confusion, the manager informed her that the balls were simply “yummy bouncy spheres of tapioca!” Sensing his customer’s dismay, the manager then suggested that Casey try the “delicious fried chicken snack instead!”

Casey, perplexed, left the establishment when she noticed that the manager was not wearing any pants.