Not a Single Laptop Being Used to Take Notes

A recent campus-wide study has revealed that not a single laptop is currently being used to take notes in class.

The leading uses reported for laptops were playing card games, Minesweeper, that one pinball game, and surfing the Internet. “Anyone can take notes,” said Ethan Adams, owner of a laptop. “But with my computer in class I can just tune out Snoozy McLearno up there and go to ratemypoo.com.”

“I think it’s wonderful seeing all these laptops,” said Randolph Starn, Professor Emeritus of History. “I’m just thrilled that students enjoy my lectures so much that they would want to hold on to them into the far distant future.”

The rest of Berry’s remarks were drowned out by a tide of laptop typing and mouse clicks.