Today Comcast announced its first annual public luncheon to give back to the community for paying exorbitant amounts of money while rolling the dice on whether or not to actually provide service to thousands of customers. Said service technician Johnny “Not My Fault” Aames, “Yeah, I’m gonna need to order that cable from HQ. No dice today, captain.”
The luncheon will be held at the Alameda fairgrounds sometime between the hours of 8 p.m. and 5 p.m. and, of course, the whole community is invited. To gain admittance, Comcast has asked that all participants supply their mother’s maiden name, the last four digits of their social security number, and breast size, if the customer is an attractive woman or obese man.