Features
- Why Cross-Country Is Not a Sport
- How to Die
- To: sex@dailycal.org
- The Happiest Day on Earth in the Happiest Place on Earth
- My Secret Romance With Stephen Hawking
- Bizarro Jesus Christ
- Hair Down Where?
- Words from the Top
- Frustrating Moments in the life of:
- Sketch Comedy
Newsflashes
- Wifebeater Wifebeaten
- Holmoe: “I Have Nothing Left to Prove”
- Boy Goes to Jupiter, Gets More Stupider
- Student Really Creeped Out by Olsen Twins Poster
- Bad Dreams Afoot
- Afghans Inadvertently Observe Ramadan
- Flag Count Dangerously Low, Warns Pentagon
- Mayfield Cougars Locke Down Victory
- Amazon.com Wanted for Anthrax Mailing
- Olympic Hopes Dashed
Top Tens
- Top Ten Alternative Names for Military Campaign
- Top Ten Catholic TV Shows
- Top Ten Ways to Feel Insignificant
- Top Ten Ways to Organize a Group Hug
- Top Ten Worst Things to Hear During Sex
- Top Ten Emergencies at the Elementary School Health Office
- Top Ten Lifetime Original Movies
- Top Ten Wild Animals
- Top Ten Poorly Conceived Superhero Duos
- Top Ten Ways to Avoid Getting Flyered on Sproul
