Olympic Hopes Dashed

Citizens of Kabul, Afghanistan were disheartened, yet again, upon learning they are not contenders to host the 2012 Olympics. The Olympic committee determined the facilities and citizens of Kabul could not possibly accommodate the needs of the summer games.

“We are officially forsaken. The Olympic games were the last glimmer of hope in the hearts of the Afghan people. God willing, we hoped to host the games,” said local mayor Khalilur Rahman.

“The conditions of Kabul do not reflect what the Olympic committee requires for successful summer games. Look at this, we can’t bring the world’s finest athletes to this,” said Olympic Chairman Ross Williams while waving his hand in a indiscreet manner towards the reminisce of mud-brick house or the perhaps the one-legged native resting himself on a mound of rubble. Williams then added, “In selecting a city to host the Olympics, we generally err towards those with top-notch sporting facilities, preferably those which have not doubled as public execution arenas. We also prefer cities with ample tourist accomodations, relatively crater-free paved roads, and water.”