Volume 11- Issue 3 Top Ten Ways to Annoy People in an Elevator December 1, 2001 top ten Explain that if your randomly-chosen floor matches the floor chosen by your potential lover in the other elevator, you were meant to be together Take elevator from first to second floor, you lazy, non-stair-walking ASUC fuck Press every button, get off, then blow the cable Masturbate Wedge open doors with liquid metal arms Set up a chair and desk; complain about how many people come into your office Have a torrent of blood ready to spill out whenever doors open Personally weigh over 500 lbs. Make cash register noises when pressing buttons Stop showering a month before riding elevator
