Top Ten Ways to Annoy People in an Elevator

  1. Explain that if your randomly-chosen floor matches the floor chosen by your potential lover in the other elevator, you were meant to be together
  2. Take elevator from first to second floor, you lazy, non-stair-walking ASUC fuck
  3. Press every button, get off, then blow the cable
  4. Masturbate
  5. Wedge open doors with liquid metal arms
  6. Set up a chair and desk; complain about how many people come into your office
  7. Have a torrent of blood ready to spill out whenever doors open
  8. Personally weigh over 500 lbs.
  9. Make cash register noises when pressing buttons
  10. Stop showering a month before riding elevator