Using the English Language
Hung-over: When hung-over, complex words like “uhhhhhhnng” are often hard to pronounce. You are light-headed. You feel like you might vomit. You do vomit. You try to tell one of the workers at Jack-in-the-Box that you just puked, but much to your chagrin neither you nor he speak English very well. You puke again.
Over-hung: If you’re toting around a large cock you only need to know how to say two phrases: “Oh Yeah!!!” and “Ouch, I think my back is broken from carrying around this 42 lb cock.”
Winner: Over-hung
Going out in Public
Hung-over: You walk outside and are instantly perplexed by mankind’s invention of sunlight. You suddenly hate everything, including the pants you forgot to put on.
Over-hung: Even if you remember the pants, they never fit like they do in the ads.
Winner: Hung-over
Trying to get Laid
Hung-Over: For some reason, the women in Denny’s at 11 am on a Saturday don’t generally want to go back to your place. You try to download porn but your computer screen is brighter than gazing on the true form of God. You rub yourself vaguely until you realize it would take less energy to just go back to sleep and hope for a wet dream.
Over-Hung: Fitting your sexual device into a vagina is like pushing a subway train into an ant’s ass hole. You try several times with several different women, but can’t get the pieces to fit. Finally you meet Shamu.
Winner: Hung-over, but only ’cause it’s not the original Shamu
Driving a Car
Hung-Over: My dear lord, you’re still drunk. You scream this revelation to your passengers, laugh and then realize the elementary students in the bus you’re driving don’t quite understand or appreciate the joke like your drinking buddies would. You crash into a parked building.
Over-Hung: You drive a Ford Focus to undercompensate for your abnormally large penis. Legroom is an issue. Occasionally, lack of a sunroof.
Winner: Hung-over
Getting Drunk
Hung-over: The best way to eliminate a hangover is to keep drinking. You just wish you knew what you were getting yourself into when you started drinking at a Pink Floyd concert back in 1977.
Over-hung: Getting you drunk is nearly impossible. When you drink it’s like drinking for two if one of you is a huge, oblong pickleman. Heroin is more your style; with a cock that big, finding a vein is never a problem.
Winner: Hung-over
Hung-Over
Hot4Tuna69: hi 😉
UndrTheSea: Hi! a/s/l?
Hot4Tuna69: 18/f/metropolis 😉 u?
UndrTheSea: Um, kind of complicated, but I’m a young guy in Metropolis too! Have a pic?
Hot4Tuna69: sure here u go 🙂
UndrTheSea: Holy moly! You’re a knockout!
Hot4Tuna69: oh thanks 😉 but i am all by myself tonight. 🙁
UndrTheSea: Really? So am I! Which is, uh, really rare for me. Wayyyy rare.
Hot4Tuna69:o no! well maybe u could come over
UndrTheSea: Seriously?? I mean, yeah, I could do that. Chicks ask me to all the time.
Hot4Tuna69: u could come over and make me a woman, how does that sound
UndrTheSea: Oh wow! Yeah! I’ll be right there!
Hot4Tuna69:: make me a hot mermaid woman
UndrTheSea: …mermaid?
Hot4Tuna69: my fin is so hot 4 u
UndrTheSea: …
Hot4Tuna69: i am covering myself in tartar sauce
UndrTheSea: …This is Superman, isn’t it?
Hot4Tuna69: HAHAHAHA! OWNED!!! KRYPTON RULZ!!!
CapdCrusdr: hey there
GothamUGrrl: o hi 🙂
CapdCrusdr: you go to the university huh
GothamUGrrl: yeah! i love it here, but i wish i was meeting more guys 🙁
CapdCrusdr: maybe sometime you and i could “meet” maybe in my cave. er, bedroom
GothamUGrrl: oooh rly? what would we do? 😀
CapdCrusdr: i’d start off by massaging your feet
GothamUGrrl: that’s hot, i luv that, what else
CapdCrusdr: then i’d slowly peel off your pretty green tights
GothamUGrrl: my what
CapdCrusdr: and stroke your long boyish legs with my fingertips
GothamUGrrl: wait go back a second
CapdCrusdr: i’d take off your utility belt, slowly, and try it on for you
GothamUGrrl: i don’t have a utility belt
CapdCrusdr: then i’d tear off your red shirt and lick all over your hairless chest
GothamUGrrl: ok this is more like it, sort of
CapdCrusdr: and then i’d flip you onto your stomach and spank your firm ass with your own utility belt
GothamUGrrl: ooh kinky!
CapdCrusdr: and shout “you’ve been a BAD sidekick, haven’t you?”
GothamUGrrl: um
CapdCrusdr: take off my cowl, i want you to look into my eyes when i batspunk on your handsome features
GothamUGrrl: god why is everyone in this town such a fucking weirdo
CapdCrusdr: nnnnngh oh fuck i’m cumming I AM THE NIGHT
FastrThanLight212 (7:07:32 PM): hey sexy
MetroChik4675 (7:07:47 PM): hi 🙂
FastrThanLight212 (7:07:48 PM): looking for some cyber?
MetroChik4675 (7:08:03 PM): oooh ok 😀 but i should tell you something first
FastrThanLight212 (7:08:04 PM): shhhh tell me later
FastrThanLight212 (7:08:05 PM): i’m slowly taking off your blouse
FastrThanLight212 (7:08:06 PM): mmm yeah nice tits
FastrThanLight212 (7:08:07 PM): yeah you want this cock don’t you
FastrThanLight212 (7:08:08 PM): ohhhfuckkk cummmming
FastrThanLight212 (7:08:09 PM): shit want some more huh, you’re a dirty girl
FastrThanLight212 (7:08:10 PM): yeah you like that don’t you, you slut
FastrThanLight212 (7:08:11 PM): OHHHhfucklksdf;lsj
FastrThanLight212 (7:08:12 PM): god damn that was nice, i came so hard
MetroChik4675 (7:08:13 PM): wait
FastrThanLight212 (7:08:14 PM): no time for that i’m hard again you want this dick
FastrThanLight212 (7:08:15 PM): mmmm yeah so tight
FastrThanLight212 (7:08:16 PM): fuckfuckfuckfckhgccummmmmming
FastrThanLight212 (7:08:17 PM): shit, so good, ok baby i’ll see you l8r
