Because altered states of consciousness are the only known antidotes for college.
Because, with each purchase, 5% of the profits go to a needy cause.
Because of the kind of people who don’t. Newt Gingrich doesn’t.
Because you live in a dilapidated housing project (i.e. the co-ops).
Because it makes the cartoon “No Exit” in the Daily Cal actually funny.
Because it’s a lot easier than trying to snort it.
Because you’re a potsmoker.
Because it’s. . . . there!
More socially acceptable than smoking cigarettes.
Because I learned it by watching you!

Top Ten Overheard Lines on the All Dedication Station

February 1, 1998

“Yo quiero Taco Bell.”
“Can you hold on? There’s someone on the other line.”
“Here’s a shout-out to all the 510 peeps who know that this shit gone down in the Eastside, bee-yotch. Hi mom.”
“I just wanted someone to talk to…Hello?”
“If you play ‘Where Have all the Cowboys Gone?’ one more time I’m going to send a pipe-bomb to your station.”
“This goes out to all of my sex partners, who I wanted to tell that I have herpes.”
“I hate my life. Play me a lullaby.”
“This song is for Marcia. Baby, I’m sorry I got you pregnant and skipped town. Please forgive me. Can you send me money?”
“Can you play that song? You know, that song, by that guy?”
“Oh my god, I’m on the radio!!! Yes! Yes! Yes! Damn, my pants are wet.”