Promise Made For 1998 Winter Olympics

International Olympic Committee representatives announced that the 1998 Winter Olympics will prove to be the most boring to date. Joining extreme low excitement sports such as Curling, Cross Country Skiing and the Luge will be new exhibition events such as Ice Sculpting and Synchronized Sledding. “We do not recommend operating any heavy machinery while watching or listening to the Olympic Games,” added IOC representatives. Critics have denounced the announcement as hype intended to hide Nagano’s clear boredom disadvantage to Salt Lake City, site of the 2002 Olympics.