ASUC Squabble Solved

The intervention of professional wrestler Randy “Macho Man” Savage was needed to settle a dispute between ASUC executive officials Sanjeev Bery and Lee Fink on Friday.

Wielding a steel folding chair, Savage came to the aid of Bery, ASUC external affairs vice president, while Fink attempted to climb to the top rope and perform a flying body slam. The two executive officers brushed off the incident yesterday and instead focused on their upcoming rematch in a steel cage. “Sanjeev! What’cha gonna do, when Fink-A-Mania runs wild on you?!” said Fink. Bery responded by vowing to destroy Fink and to recapture the ASUC championship belt.