The Women’s Sexuality De-Cal class was deeply embarrassed last weekend when its Mother walked in on them, unaware.
The class, both famed and controversial for its explicit exploration of female sexual topics, was in the middle of a hot and … Read More
On Wednesday evening, shortly after consuming his fourth banana of the day, Cal junior Bryan Dempsey opened a bottle of Snapple only to find the short but harrowing factoid “Eating bananas makes you more attractive to mosquitoes” staring up at … Read More
“Pony,” the breakthrough hit from R&B star Ginuwine, was barred from all future play at Willard Middle School dances after school officials declared the song’s lyrics to be too tame for the student body.
“‘Send chills up and down your … Read More
English GSI Kristine Broughton decided to hold class outside on the grass yesterday, betraying a complete lack of basic knowledge about meterology, human physiology, women’s studies, and plant biology.
‘It’s such a nice day out,’ Broughton reportedly said, ‘lets do … Read More
Spurred on by the enormous success of humorist Al Franken’s GOP-bashing bestseller Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, an impassioned throng of extreme-left disc jockeys gathered Saturday outside the Long Island residence of Fox News anchor Bill O’Reilly … Read More
Recent reports indicate that that one teacher, you know, that one that is really famous, is not a very good teacher. These reports come hot on the trail of accusations that he just rambles a lot and doesn’t lay things … Read More
Lifelong consumer advocate and former Green Party presidential candidate Ralph Nader opened fire on a group of unarmed shoppers Friday at a Wal-Mart near his home in Pasadena, California.
“It was a horrible tragedy,” reported one unhurt bystander. “My first … Read More
In an effort to bolster sagging public approval ratings, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan announced today that President Bush would be delivering his upcoming State of the Union address in the costume of the Japanese silent assassin, the “ninja.”… Read More
In a serene forest located astride a majestic mountain range, a mighty elm was felled with nary a man in sight. However, the elm fell atop a conspicuously-placed airhorn, providing answers to many a timeless Buddhist koan.
A Zen Buddhist … Read More
Haas graduate student Matt Clark, 24, has failed in his recent efforts to find a prostitute with a heart of gold. “I’ve always been a bit of a workaholic, so naturally I thought a streetwise prostitute with an independent spirit … Read More
