ASUC Illegally Allocates $10 to No-On-53 Campaign

Student government politics were thrown into further turmoil last week when it was revealed that the ASUC earmarked ten dollars in student fees to oppose Proposition 53. The announcement was made by Graduate Assembly President Jessica Zack Quindel.

“We’ve already allocated thousands to No-On-54, so who gives a crap at this point? I don’t even know what Prop 53 is. Isn’t that the one about protecting wetlands?”

When asked about the controversial decision, ASUC External Affairs Vice-President Anu Joshi responded similarly. “Who’s gonna stop us, Jesus?” She then added, “Stupid wetlands,” and doffed a hat made of money.