Political Science

Take a Shot every time the one Libertarian tries to change the discussion to how pot should be legal.
Take a Shot of Vodka each time a student uses the term “capitalist” like it means “AIDS”
Person to Your Right Drinks when you’re the first to spot the forty year old woman who arrives 20 minutes late.
Take Three Shots when someone asks “and what of the tragic death of Freddie Mercury due to capitalism?”

Computer Science

010 IF “girl”=“in class” THEN GOTO 020 ELSE GOTO 030
020 EXECUTE “two sips”
030 CONTINUE “masturbating alone in shower”

Any DeCal about Comic Books

Drink a Snifter of Brandy every time someone says the word “mythos.”
Drink a Sake Bomb once the discussion gets to the inevitable part in the comic’s history where the hero begins beating up Japs.
Shotgun a Beer for every impromptu game of “Who would win in a fight?”

Geology

Chug a Rolling Rock every time the professor makes some joke about stratography or igneousness or whatever the fuck that shit is.
Take a Shot every time you realize you’re in a three-hour lecture about rocks.
Take a Shot at some other major for Christ’s sake.

Ethnic Studies

Take a Shot when your professor performs a retina-detachingly dramatic eye-roll after saying “George W. Bush.”
Take Two Shots when the professor asks a question that is obviously meant to be answered with “It’s white people’s fault.”
Chug an Imported Beer when the mention of an ethnicity-specific food causes everyone of that ethnicity to loudly express their like of that food.

Sociology

Take 1 shot every time your professor starts a sentence with “check this out.”
Take 2 shots when your professor ends that sentence with a hand gesture in place of an actual word.
Take 3 shots every time the professor refers to the dog with a bandana around its neck as “your GSI.”

“The Battle of Man-Asses”

Author: RebCake20

Source: Ken Burns’ “The Civil War”

[The camera pans out from an aged photograph as a sorrowful and rustic violin plays an old Southern requiem. The photo is of two men with scraggly beards engaged in anal sex]

Narrator: [reading from a letter] “My dearest Lulabelle. I find myself in the most terrible of erogenous conundrums. Last night the fates had transpired that I would take part in an act of illuminating sodomy, an awakening of senses within my soul and loins and posterior. While it happened so that I required the medicinal aid of a shot of whiskey and a stick to bite on, the pain of the initial penetration was nothing compared to the following glory enacted upon my most tender of holes. It will take quite some time and help from divine providence to ascertain my choice between your exquisite kiss, or my tent-mate’s veiny rod.”

–Private First Class Kilbourne S. Noisewater, 1864.

“You Ever Notice?”

Author: RoOnEyFaN86

Source: 60 Minutes

Leslie Stahl’s breath evacuated her lungs immediately as her eyes were drawn towards Andy Rooney’s massive member. “Leslie! What are you doing in my dressing room?” Andy asked, his tone getting more and more coy as the question progressed. Leslie tried to answer him, but was temporarily hypnotized by the sight of her coworker’s gray and knotty manhood.

“I–I–Wow…” Leslie stammered. Andy had this kind of effect on women, when they finally were able to take a peek at his gnarled trousersnake. So it was no surprise to him when Leslie, in a semi-simplified state of lust, suddenly dropped to her knees and began servicing him with her award-winning journalist’s tongue. Andy’s abundant, snow-white brow furrowed, as he began to commentate on the pleasure he was receiving:

“Blowjobs are funny. It’s hardly a job, unless you get paid to do it, in which case it’s not the kind of thing I want to get mixed up in, and it certainly doesn’t involve blowing. It actually involves the opposite, which is sucking. I don’t care for the term ‘blowjob,’ as it conjures up all sorts of images of some kind of balloon, and frankly I just don’t like associating my sexual experiences with balloons.”

“Busted”

Author: Praying_Mantits

Source: Mythbusters

Adam: Jamie; the myth for this week is uh, it’s something [chuckles] of a new kind of myth for us.
Jamie: Uh, yes, that is right. It’s something we’ve not done before, so it actually ought to be quite a treat for a lot of you, uh, viewers out there.
Adam: [Chuckles] Ha, yes, that’s because we are going to be testing the myth of the male G-spot.

[Animation plays of cartoon character with Adam’s photographic head superimposed on being reamed by cartoon Jamie. Eventually cartoon Adam ejaculates, and his semen spells out “Male G-Spot”]

Adam: For this experiment, we’re going to be using myself and Jamie on this yoga mat, and we’ll also be employing the use of a lot of lubricant, because the myth does not specify whether lube should or shouldn’t be used.
Jamie: Now you haven’t done this before, right Adam?
Adam: [Chuckles] No. So we’re going to need a lot of lubricant. [nods head with each syllable of “lubricant,” chuckles]

[_High-speed montage set to ukulele music of Adam and Jamie having anal sex. Interspliced

are images of the Asian guy and the chick doing nothing, as usual. This continues until

Adam is brought to a shuddering climax_]

Adam: Oh, wow! [Chuckles]

[Jamie finishes on Adam’s chest, and then spits to the side]

Jamie: Busted.