Invisimask Advertisement

From the makers of Invisalign, the invisible braces, comes Invisimask. The Invisimask system is a mostly painless system for facial correction and beautification. Developed by NASA for ugly astronauts, the patented space-age Uglon technology subtly alters your facial features while you sleep. Simply wear the Invisimask during slumber and you’ll be on your path to the only thing that matters — making sure people don’t explosively vomit at the sight of you.

“I can go outside again!”

— Janice Evans, Kansas City, MO

“Only 6 more months and I won’t cry so much!”

— Nathan Daniels, Brooklyn, NY

“Ah am gon suu yuh mohhstahs.”

— Felix Thomas, La Jolla, CA * **

  • Note: Invisimask may cause permanent facial nerve damage. By “may” we mean “will.”
    ** By trying to decipher this man’s slurred speech you have legally waived all rights to sue