Features
- White People Jokes!
- Words From the Top
- Cool Diseases
- My Christmas With Cobra
- Excerpts from The Bible’s DVD Commentary Track
- Handling the Homeless
- If The Actors Really Were President
- Nickelodeon Solutions to Everyday Problems
- Re: Professor Indiana Jones
Newsflashes
- WORLD: Middle East Peace Process Totally Fucked
- Howard Stern Moves to Satellite
- President Cries in a Corner
Top Tens
- Top Ten Reasons to Wear Pajamas to Class
- Top Ten Signs the Spark Has Gone out of your Serial-Killer / Victim Relationship
- Top Ten Reasons You Lost That Basketball Game to a Paraplegic Midget
- Top Ten Signs You’ve Rented Second-Rate Sherpas
- Top Six Rejected Alternatives to LL Cool J’s line, “I’m Staring at Your Cornea / You’re Getting Horniah and Horniah”
- Top Ten Signs the Anal Sex isn’t Going Well
- Top Five Signs You Shouldn’t Have Raised Your Teenager as a Female Chipmunk
