Top Ten Signs the Anal Sex isn’t Going Well

  1. Low scores from celebrity judges
  2. It’s going good – you just have poor grammar
  3. Your wife is starting to suspect you didn’t go up there to fish
  4. It’s been half an hour, and you still have to say over a hundred more Hail Marys before you can leave the confessional
  5. Somehow, you got your balls stuck in there
  6. No matter how loud you yell for help, the warden just laughs
  7. Everyone at the daycare is staring
  8. You feel teeth
  9. She gets pregnant
  10. The ferret’s stopped kicking