Features
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Newsflashes
- Moratorium Issued on Hair Professor Jokes
- Plea of “No Sprouts” Unheeded by Mustachioed Devil-Bitch
- Pillsbury Announces Release of “Ready to Eat” Cookies
- Local Student “Almost Definitely” Leaving Apartment Tomorrow
- Protestors Frustrated by Police Civility
- “Productive” Weekend Actually Weekend of Video Games, Porn
- “High Quality” Apparently Means “For Fucking Ever to Dry Taking”
- Telemarketer Disturbed by Strange Acronyms
Top Tens
- Top Ten Formulaic Top Ten Entries
- Top Ten Things to Do with 50 Corpses
- Top Ten Ways to Tell You’ve Found a Quality Girl
- Top Ten Reasons to Wake Up Angry
- Top Ten Ways to Catch the Loch Ness Monster
- Top Ten Ways to Tell You Spent Too Much Money
- Top Ten Worst Things to Be Allergic To
- Top Ten Pornographic Landmarks
- Top Ten Benefits of Buying a College Yearbook
- Top Ten Pointlessly Exotic Sexual Practices
