Top Ten Ways to Tell You’ve Found a Quality Girl

  1. Your group of quality friends have already gotten with her
  2. bonus hole
  3. She’s two feet tall and makes your penis look enormous
  4. has all her papers and she’s clean
  5. feet tightly bound
  6. thick healthy hymen
  7. She reminds you of your mother naked
  8. She reminds you of your mother
  9. Her sister is an epileptic, and thus the sister at hand is by comparison a quality find
  10. She has a huge red USDA stamp on her