Top Ten Reasons to Wake Up Angry

  1. You’re an infant, you’re hungry, you’ve got a poopy diaper, and you have feet the size of an NBA power forward
  2. You’re in a bathtub full of ice, but your kidneys have not been removed, so you’re still not sure if it’s an urban myth
  3. You weren’t planning on switching phone companies at 8:00 in the morning, but the person calling you thought you should.
  4. Instead of your alarm clock, there’s a ten piece mariachi band and they’re dressed like Latin Robocops
  5. You woke up little Susie with your snoring and she kicked your nuts up your ass
  6. You’re half buried in a cemetery somewhere outside of Mexico City
  7. You’re getting oral from a dead guy
  8. You’re on the foor and your roommate is on the street selling your bed to some Pakistanis
  9. You’re underneath the bed
  10. You’re on the wrong side of the bed