Top Ten Benefits of Buying a College Yearbook

  1. Draw mustaches on professors without hurting your grade
  2. Have record of Tuesday Night Drinking Club (TNDC) for posterity
  3. Weighty tome keeps coffee table from blowing away
  4. After college, you can ask pictures “So what’s your major?” and receive answers from captions
  5. You can check off girl(s) you’ve dated
  6. College-level sappy writing instead of high-school-level sappy writing
  7. Your freshman, sophomore, and junior years weren’t that good anyway
  8. Something to sign at reunion, if you’ve received it by then
  9. Suede-like velveteen cover (1998 edition only)
  10. No longer need to leave your house to look at people you don’t know