Moratorium Issued on Hair Professor Jokes

Citing what it referred to as “a growing trend of unchecked redundancy,” the Berkely Chamber of Commerce issued an indefinite moratorium on all jokes likening “The Hair Professor” to an actual college professor. The measure was endorsed unanimously by the city council.

“The Hair Professor has been in business since 1972,” said Councilmember Kriss Worthington. “And we’ve been dealing with those retarded jokes ever since. It’s time to put a stop to this, for the sake of all mankind.”

The moratorium makes illegal, among other things, replying to the statement “I just got a haircut at the Hair Professor” with “Looks like the Hair Professor should have his tenure reviewed,” “I hope you gave him a scathing course evaluation,” and “Are you sure it wasn’t the Hair GSI?” The measure also outlaws more pedestrian quips like “I don’t think the Hair Professor is a very good professor.”

The Hair Professor himself couldn’t be reached for comment, since he never showed up to his office hours this week.