Think you have what it takes to mush in the Iditarod? Do you like reading lists? Here are the rules:
Each competitor should be equipped with no more than sixteen sled dogs, preferably Siberian huskies. Siberian huskies are unique dogs … Read More
Tag Archives: feature
Super (Pretentious) Political Science Man!
Excuse me, sir. I know you feel your purchase of a carbonated soft drink is important, but you need to step aside. I’m a hurried political scientist, and I’m coming through.
No, sir, I will not go fuck myself. I’m … Read More
Stopping the Robots
America may have turned its fleeting national attention span to the weather and national broadcasting standards, but the disturbing growth in robot intelligence marches ever forward. Every day the gleam in an AIBO’s eye is a little bit brighter. Every … Read More
Road to Heterosexuality
Many “credited” scientists have “tried” to tell people that sexuality is created through a mix of genetics and conditioning. But scientists are stupid. If there were no scientists I wouldn’t’ve had to put up with my idiot big brother, because … Read More
Tech Support Through History
Caveman Times
[Ring ring]
T.S.: Tech support. What can I do for you?
Caveman: I’ve got some problems with the sticks.
T.S.: Like what? Did you remember to break the stick off the tree first? Are you holding a branch?… Read More
An Open Letter to My Fellow Americans
From: President Gore
Four years ago I defeated Republican candidate Bush in a hard-fought contest of my imagination. A battle that sharply divided America was decided only when thousands of uncounted “me” votes magically appeared in a warehouse in Pahokee, Florida. Since then … Read More
Seven Episodes of the FCC
Episode One
Secretary: Mr. Powell?
FCC Chairman Michael Powell: Yes?
Secretary: Your father’s on the line.
Powell: And?
Secretary: He doesn’t love you.
Episode Two
Secretary: Mr. Powell?
Powell: Yes?
Secretary: I’m pregnant.
Powell: You told me you were on … Read More
I’m an Asshole and I Have a Time Machine
Yeah, that’s right: I’m a jerk. That’s why I hired a scientist to build me a time machine. What? That doesn’t make sense? Well neither does your face. Two points!
So now that I have the powers of the universe … Read More
Words from the Top
Leonard Nimoy Was Right
Who hasn’t whiled away hours sitting in front of expanded basic cable, skipping midday classes in favor of Kids in the Hall reruns or that episode of Mythbusters that you’ve seen five times already this week. Nevermind that it’s still … Read More
Joel Stephanson: Candidate for President of the United States
“Yesterday, December 7, 1941 GAA a date which will live in infamy GAA the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.”
GAA Franklin Delano Roosevelt, December 8th, 1941… Read More
