Who hasn’t whiled away hours sitting in front of expanded basic cable, skipping midday classes in favor of Kids in the Hall reruns or that episode of Mythbusters that you’ve seen five times already this week. Nevermind that it’s still … Read More
Tag Archives: feature
Joel Stephanson: Candidate for President of the United States
“Yesterday, December 7, 1941 GAA a date which will live in infamy GAA the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.”
GAA Franklin Delano Roosevelt, December 8th, 1941… Read More
Shit Do I Love Cussing
Let me tell you something, I fucking love to cuss. Cussing has revolutionized my life; now I get myself heard. I remember way back in middle school, when I was a big pussy. I thought cussing was evil or something; … Read More
Slam Poetry Poet Archetypes
Part I: How to Become a Slam Poet
Do you have what it takes to be a Slam Poet? Well, do you have a bandana? Do you sit in a Starbucks and write in a tiny notebook about how fake … Read More
History? OK!
From the dawn of human civilization to its apex in the mid-1920s and beyond, people have been compiling quite a file that in its wisdom calls history. History documents many important things for its present-day pupils, for instance the evolution … Read More
The Last Great Race
Think you have what it takes to mush in the Iditarod? Do you like reading lists? Here are the rules:
Each competitor should be equipped with no more than sixteen sled dogs, preferably Siberian huskies. Siberian huskies are unique dogs … Read More
Super (Pretentious) Political Science Man!
Excuse me, sir. I know you feel your purchase of a carbonated soft drink is important, but you need to step aside. I’m a hurried political scientist, and I’m coming through.
No, sir, I will not go fuck myself. I’m … Read More
Stopping the Robots
America may have turned its fleeting national attention span to the weather and national broadcasting standards, but the disturbing growth in robot intelligence marches ever forward. Every day the gleam in an AIBO’s eye is a little bit brighter. Every … Read More
Road to Heterosexuality
Many “credited” scientists have “tried” to tell people that sexuality is created through a mix of genetics and conditioning. But scientists are stupid. If there were no scientists I wouldn’t’ve had to put up with my idiot big brother, because … Read More
Tech Support Through History
Caveman Times
[Ring ring]
T.S.: Tech support. What can I do for you?
Caveman: I’ve got some problems with the sticks.
T.S.: Like what? Did you remember to break the stick off the tree first? Are you holding a branch?… Read More
