History? OK!

From the dawn of human civilization to its apex in the mid-1920s and beyond, people have been compiling quite a file that in its wisdom calls history. History documents many important things for its present-day pupils, for instance the evolution of the Sonicare-A
No, thanks to advancements such as technology, we can blast back our simian ancestors with our oral irrigators and fasten them securely in the past with Glide-A
Still, if we didn’t have history to stand upon we’d have to use footstools, which are not convenient for so many people. Armenians, for instance. The following timeline details some of the more important events in history:

202 B.C.

2nd Punic War. Romans defeat Carthaginians with killer smiles. Short-lived, moderately successful dental hygiene craze sweeps Germanic hordes. 1510 > Raphael routinely scrapes teeth with pus-covered root, re-popularizing the practice of brushing, earning him the title of dynamic genius. Michelangelo has a cavity, proceeds to sulk. 18th Century > Rousseau investigates the origins of tooth decay; also, krautrock. 1875 > Nietzsche denounces floss, but also denounces marzipan. Push. 1916 > Willy Wonka Just BornAnd what of the future? One can only say that from the progress documented by history, it looks bright, dazzling and, most importantly, white. The issue of embarrassing discoloration, of course, is not intended to detract from the importance of the second most prominent obstacle to human perfection: gingivitis. Chronic inflammation of thegums can make even eating uncomfortable. Biscuits? Pain!

By way of conclusion, in a recent survey, it is clear that most dentists think history is okay and, after even a cursory summary of history, one can see why. They also think that Halloween sucks, but mostly because they’re just generally not into that whole costume thing.