Problem 2b
Physics 137a
Physics, and the study thereof, is not an undertaking for the faint of heart. It requires a strong mental will and a keen perception of the world in which we live. Many people can boast of having these skills, … Read More
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Student Receives Worst Hand-Job in History
UC Berkeley 3rd-year student Horace McFeelenstein recently reported that the result of an amorous encounter last weekend has been nothing but pain and suffering. “Things were goin’ pretty good, y’know?” McFeelenstein was overheard telling his floormates in Griffiths Hall… Read More
Humiliating Happenstances!
<I>Teen! Squelch</I>
I was in the bathroom at school and I was about to have a cigarette, when it occurred to me that I also needed to change my tampon. It was really cramped in the stall, and I … Read More
Napsneerg!
or, It’s the Conspiracy, Stupid
It’s February, and we’re all still here. After months of warnings, countless disaster tests, and millions of gallons of emergency water, the Y2K bug was the most overhyped disappointment since The Phantom Menace. Though let down, … Read More
Words from the Top
What it Was, Was Clubbing
Being the great lumbering couch ‘tater that I am, I find myself watching a great deal of alarmist news stories about club kids and their various sinful pleasures. While millions of senile geriatrics were watching these depictions… Read More
Stylish Slogan Sasses Out College Campus
UC Berkeley students were totally sassed out by Chemical Engineering major Jenny Parker last Tuesday, when she sported a t-shirt bearing the slogan “If you don’t want attitude, stop talking to me.”
Students reported that Parker, … Read More
Buster, Get in the Tub
The year 2000 is approaching. And I’ve realized a few things: 1) I need to start looking for a party now if I don’t want to end up at home. 2) I most likely won’t find a… Read More
I’m Really Cool in Private
Attractive girl #l: What the hell is Fred all about? He’s such a enigmatic and fascinating character.
Attractive girl #2: I just wish I could talk to him more, after I’m done talking to him and he’s not … Read More
Random Words Attack Newsflash
“Them Cheerios was jumpy,” salamander flash. How about the time he trampled it NOT gonna happen. Is she more unlike the only way to fly or shouldn’t we, at the board dog, that’s worth having some fundip. … Read More
Words from the Top
Damn You, Jimmy Carter
Many people enjoy putting nuts into their mouths. If I did it, it would kill me. I, like an increasing number of Americans and people from other important countries, am deathly allergic to peanuts. While most non-peanut… Read More
