Congress Duped
Much confusion was generated on the floor of the Senate recently when, after losing a vote on a bill he authored, Majority Leader Trent Lott broke into laughter and triumphantly declared, “Ha! Opposite day!”
“… Read More
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Walker
Bearded Ranger
On a recent lonely Saturday night, I found myself watching an episode of CBS’s prime-time action-drama, “Walker: Texas Ranger.” As I watched Chuck Norris use his feet of fury to preserve liberty and justice … Read More
Daily Cal Columnist Writes Meta-Meta-Column
Daily Cal columnist Jen Price broke new ground recently when she wrote her weekly column about writing about her weekly column. Answering disgruntled letter writers who felt it was cheap and lazy to write columns that simply answered disgruntled letter … Read More
Campus Activists Protest Animal Testing
Members of the campus organization “Viviphagy for Virulence” staged a rally in protest of animal testing in UC Berkeley laboratories last Friday. The group, known for its advocacy of live meat consumption, acted in response to recent … Read More
Short Conversations
“In high school, my teacher got mad; at me for writing a limerick about: Camus’ The Stranger on my desk.”
“Did you shoot her in the face?”
Student: “Mr. Habibi, as former president of Indonesia… Read More
Magnitude 2.1 Earthquake Rocks Bay Area
An earthquake measuring 2.1 on the Richter Scale struck at approximately 2:27 a.m. yesterday morning, causing twenty two Bay Area residents to wake up. Damage was limited to an empty beer bottle falling on its side in the home … Read More
Chancellor Needs His Space
In a public statement yesterday, UC Berkeley Chancellor Robert Berdahl addressed the many controversial issues facing the Berkeley campus, calling for students and the community to “just back off for a while and leave me the hell alone… Read More
God & Football
I was in my room reading The Enquirer today-yeah, you heard me, wanna make somethin’ of it?-and I came upon a startling article that Mickey Spillane, author of the best-selling Mike Hammer books, is now … Read More
A Look Back… to the Future
Do you feel left out of the millennium madness? Not quite sure how the world is going to end? Well, I’ve compiled all the prophecies you’ll ever need for the year 2000. (But not for you Jews. You had… Read More
New Drummer for Iron Butterfly
With the mysterious circumstances surrounding their former bassist’s disappearance cleared up, Iron Butterfly has announced that Latin sensation Ricky Martin will be joining the band. While some critics are claiming that the hard rock group is simply riding … Read More
