Reply to: 9634890095@craigslist.org
Posting : I’m a horny big black woman desperate for some cock.
Translation: My name is Eddie Murphy and I just want to get back into my big black woman costume I used in Norbit. I … Read More
Author Archives: The Squelch
Smarmy Bastard Explains Everything
**Why do we love reality TV? **
Reality TV has persisted solely because we all love seeing stupid people try to solve problems. Who hasn’t felt the joy of watching a retarded child try and fit a square peg in … Read More
Romania to Name Dragon National Bird
In a shortsighted and very curious attempt to increase tourism, the nation of Romania yesterday voted to proclaim the dragon as their new national bird. “The great nation of Romania has long been at the forefront of world dragon conservation, … Read More
Animal Love
What follows are transcripts of conversations between Earth’s creatures about the ups and downs of their love lives, collected through extensive field work and less extensive peyote use.
_Two male lions kick back after a long, hard day of waiting … Read More
The Unchosen People
Those of the Jewish faith refer to themselves as the Chosen People. This is wrong. God never picked anyone as Chosen, and only through a series of hilarious mix-ups did the Jews ever come to this incorrect conclusion.
****** … Read More
The Incredibly Hip Eatery
The Founders
[Two 5’8″ men stand in the middle of a burned down tire shop, deed in hand]
Sydney : So. Japanese Pop Art meets Sicilian Renaissance with unisex bathrooms?
Viktor : Obvi. Marble from Florence, glass from … Read More
Step into my office…
Don’t have a seat, Eric. I’ll get right to the point.
I built this company with my bare hands. I woke up at four AM for 60 years and never once took a vacation. Now I admit, I didn’t come … Read More
Lieberman Announces Gray Horse Candidacy
Senator Joseph Lieberman of Connecticut recently told reporters he sees himself as a gray horse candidate in the upcoming 2008 election. “I mean, I wouldn’t be shocked if I won,” Lieberman said. “I guess I wouldn’t bet on it though.”… Read More
Rapture Occurs, Productivity Skyrockets
Christian fundamentalists and Evangelicals were elevated to Heaven last week to sit at the side of Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior. With hundreds of millions having instantly disappeared around the world, global productivity has risen ten-fold in what remaining scientific … Read More
Eulogy
I cannot say that Jim was my best friend.
I cannot even say that Jim was my close friend. Jim was my roommate, and my roommate only, and it’s true what they say: you don’t really miss something until it’s … Read More
