Welcome to the 2007 NecronomiCon, the premier trade event for evil wizards. You can pick up your name tags at the registration table, located in the heart of the Obsidian Monolith on the Island of Forgotten Souls on the Lake … Read More
Tag Archives: feature
Unregistered Sex Offenders
California law stipulates that all convicted sex offenders must register their name and address with the state. However, many slip through the cracks in this system. By not technically breaking any laws, a few perverted, depraved individuals roam free and … Read More
Step into my office…
Don’t have a seat, Eric. I’ll get right to the point.
I built this company with my bare hands. I woke up at four AM for 60 years and never once took a vacation. Now I admit, I didn’t come … Read More
s.f. bay area craigslist > a guide to casual encounters
Reply to: 9634890095@craigslist.org
Posting : I’m a horny big black woman desperate for some cock.
Translation: My name is Eddie Murphy and I just want to get back into my big black woman costume I used in Norbit. I … Read More
Seinfeld Meets 24
[Jerry and George exit the CTU locker room]
Jerry : Sweatpants? You’re wearing sweatpants to a bomb defusing?
George : What, there’s something wrong with sweatpants?
Jerry : No, not at all, assuming you’re New Jersey SWAT.
George… Read More
The Murderdome Quarterly
The Newsletter by Dr. Murder’s Henchmen for Dr. Murder’s Henchmen
A Note from the Editor, Footman #2205
Hello everyone! I hope you’re all having a happy April here at the MurderDome, I know that I have! It’s certainly been a busy couple of weeks for us here at the newsletter … Read More
Smarmy Bastard Explains Everything
**Why do we love reality TV? **
Reality TV has persisted solely because we all love seeing stupid people try to solve problems. Who hasn’t felt the joy of watching a retarded child try and fit a square peg in … Read More
The Incredibly Hip Eatery
The Founders
[Two 5’8″ men stand in the middle of a burned down tire shop, deed in hand]
Sydney : So. Japanese Pop Art meets Sicilian Renaissance with unisex bathrooms?
Viktor : Obvi. Marble from Florence, glass from … Read More
The Unchosen People
Those of the Jewish faith refer to themselves as the Chosen People. This is wrong. God never picked anyone as Chosen, and only through a series of hilarious mix-ups did the Jews ever come to this incorrect conclusion.
****** … Read More
Words From the Top
Secrets
As we, the editorial staff of the Heuristic Squelch, are graduating in a scant few weeks, we no longer have to keep the many awful secrets we’ve kept for these four long trying years. First, the obvious secrets.
We’re the … Read More
