A prominent figure living in exile. A thin, white, stubble-faced hero convinced of his messianic prowess reduced to hiding on a foreign continent. While this is eerily reminiscent of the horrors we fought to vanquish in Nazi Germany’s concentration camps … Read More
Tag Archives: feature
Squelch Guide to Socializing
Hey Freshmen,
As you probably figured out by now, college is a great time to socialize and make friends, but you may find doing this difficult at such a big school.
We here at the squelch prepared a handy guide … Read More
Words from the Top
Climbing the Ranks
Dear Readers,
Boy, this production has been a wild ride. We’ve committed some heinous acts in the name of comedy. We forced one of our best friends to take his pants off in a cold basement so we could photoshop … Read More
Words From The Top
A Rags to Deputy Creative Editor Story
Hello reader,
As the new deputy creative editors, we thought we’d give a few words of friendly advice to those who dream of holding the glamorous position that we hold today. Now look, we’re not “better” or “smarter” than any … Read More
William Henry Harrison: American Gentleman
Narrator: Most Americans are only familiar with the presidency of William Henry Harrison because of its morbid trivia, namely that it was cut short by death after a mere 32 days in office. What is all too often left unsaid … Read More
The Kitten Manifesto
WE are the Arbiters of man’s destiny! Furry adorable death machines nibbling at the catnip of eternity.
Our teeth are sunk into their youtubes,
that million fathom deep
pit of futile commotion.
Not since those Egyptian foolS have … Read More
Hip Directors
The Art of Cinema
These young auteurs are transforming cinema one film at a time. Even if each film is basically the same as the last. In these excerpts from their newest ventures, we see them condense their bold visions into the most perfect … Read More
Campus Coupons
These coupons are redeemable on the UC Berkeley campus only. Some restrictions may apply. Reproduction of these coupons is prohibited by law. Any other use is prohibited by law.
From your GSI:
Redeemable for one irrelevant tangent during section.
Tangent … Read More
Atom & Eve
Online Dating for the Modern Molecule
Atom & Eve is the first atomic dating site for atoms by atoms. While other atomic dating sites base their matches on superficial criteria like the number of your valence electrons, our sophisticated matching algorithm takes into account factors you … Read More
Modern Family Spin-offs
Sure the tender, off-beat comedy Modern Family has been successful, but FOX’s all-new Fall line-up takes “modern” to its rightful blasé extreme. Never before has one night of television so encapsulated the modern spirit and showed America what’s really real. … Read More
