Hello reader,
As the new deputy creative editors, we thought we’d give a few words of friendly advice to those who dream of holding the glamorous position that we hold today. Now look, we’re not “better” or “smarter” than any … Read More
Tag Archives: Woodrow Currie
Congress Overturns Law of Cause and Effect
In a move that has shocked logicians and scientists alike, Congress has passed a ruling overturning the law of cause and effect. The ruling has severed the connection between effect and cause that was once central to any logical … Read More
HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT ADDERALL?
Link Stockton, Drug Dealer
What’s got two thumbs and wants to help you graduate college?
This guy!
Would you like to…
- Study alone in your room for days?
-
Be awake until you see sunrise and then be awake some more?
-
Turn every activity of
Existential Teen Comedies
American Pie presents: No Exit
Three high school seniors made a pledge to lose their virginity before the end of their senior year. The only problem? The boys are locked in a hotel room that will be their private hell … Read More
CNN Faces Fines Over Portrayal of Muslim as Human Being
CNN is facing steep consequences this week for airing a report which failed to meet the FCC’s mandatory Muslim otherness requirement. During a ten-minute piece on the opening of a halal butcher shop, New York resident and practicing Muslim Mohammed … Read More
Minutes of the Drunk Illuminati
Present: Alexander the Great, Edgar Allan Poe, Ernest Hemingway, Ulysses S. Grant, John Wayne, Dean Martin, Senator Joseph McCarthy, Jackson Pollock, Jimi Hendrix, Joseph Stalin, Winston Churchill, Jim Morrison, Jack Kerouac, Elvis Presley.
8:02 Opening beers distributed. Alexander the Great … Read More
