Hello reader,
As the new deputy creative editors, we thought we’d give a few words of friendly advice to those who dream of holding the glamorous position that we hold today. Now look, we’re not “better” or “smarter” than any … Read More
Tag Archives: Graham Riley
Local Man Wins Lottery, Nothing Goes Wrong
Last month, Berkeley resident Mark Halloway won the California Mega-Millions lottery jackpot of 47 million dollars. Sources have confirmed that, contrary to the popular aphorism, he is now happier than ever before.
“Everybody always says that money can’t buy you … Read More
Something Happened in Tunisia
Today, according to the Yahoo! News Homepage, something important happened in Tunisia. As of this hour, it is unclear what has occurred, or where Tunisia is. Wikipedia confirms only that Tunisia is a country located in Africa which exports textiles … Read More
Scholarship Station
Lesser-Known Berkeley Scholarships
We at the Heuristic Squelch know that the last thing you want to think about is money, but these obscure campus scholarships might be your only chance to graduate without a second mortgage on your kidneys. Just remember, some some … Read More
Rescued Chilean Miners Can Finally Return to Poverty
This weekend, after ten weeks trapped underground, 33 Chilean miners were finally brought back to the surface, and to the crushing destitution of being a Chilean miner.
“It was the longest vacation of my adult life,” said Victor Gómez, one … Read More
