UPDATE! Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson have been spotted eating lunch together. Sources report they’re planning to teach us all to love again.
-Will Smith’s dogs are smarter than most college graduates.
-500 Sudanese refugees have found shelter in George Clooney’s kind eyes.
-Orange people are better than regular people!
-Our resident scientist says that Justin Bieber’s smile may be an unlimited source of minty clean energy.
-We’ve obtained Charlie Sheen’s most recent restaurant order. Very impressive order! (receipt/check says “Cheese Pizza, Beers”, handwritten)
-Ashton Kutcher can derive more joy from a baby’s laugh than a common man.
-FACT: 100% of celebrities go to heaven
-NEWS FLASH: All Hollywood janitors fired after execs remembered that celebrities make no mess.