After much deliberation, the California Department of Education has announced that it will administer the first High School Exit Exam in 2006. If a student fails to pass the test, he or she will not receive a diploma, … Read More
According to a group of Vietnam veterans who claim to have served with John Kerry, Kerry’s initial motivation for joining the military was to kill defenseless babies. While none of the veterans have accused Kerry of killing any babies… Read More
As I write these words, it is Sunday night. Move-in Weekend is coming to a close, and the Berkeley campus is overrun with freshpeople. There’s lots of them, disproportionately lots of them, since other undergrads don’t really need to … Read More
Voter registration groups are reeling following a declaration in the September 2004 issue of Cosmopolitan that the act of voting is officially out of style.
“Not only have young women stopped registering to vote in our precinct,” stated Judith Miller, … Read More
Everyone knows that Friday the 13th, a full moon, and illiteracy cause bad luck. But what of the lesser-known superstitions out there? Don’t be unprepared:
Stepping on cracks will break your mother’s back. Walking on curbs … Read More
The start of the school year brings about many new changes: freshmen are now sophomores and the library begins to resemble an Asian immigration office. However, the most important change takes place not on campus, but rather in … Read More
Karl Malone spent his entire career with the Utah Jazz, but never won a championship. In the biggest game of Karl Malone’s career, Michael Jordan stole the ball from him, and then hit the game-winning … Read More
Recently-appointed UC Berkeley Chancellor Birgeneau is planning to start his tenure on a personal note by using the university’s mass e-mailing system to warn students about the dangers of underage drinking, depression, and lack of ethnic diversity. … Read More
Guy 1: Hey, looks like we ordered the same omelette.
Guy 2: Good taste! [laughter]
Guy 1: Mind if I join you?
Guy 2: Not at all!
[eating]
Guy 2: My parents were murdered … Read More
Incoming Chancellor Robert J. Birgeneau has made little progress so far in his efforts to adapt to his new post. The gifted Canadian researcher has yet to shed his native people’s love and compassion for their fellow man, a… Read More
