Features
- Letters to the Editors
- An Afternoon with a Master
- Looking Through the Porthole
- Tele-BEARS
- Ask Optimus
- New and Improved Cal Drinking Games
Newsflashes
- Student Attacked By Mob
- Street Punk found living in Campanile Basement
- Ignorance is Strength
- Pile of Gunk Found
- Everything Just Fine
- Puff Daddy Composes Original Work
- UC President Anxious About Haas Pavilion
- Back Street Boys Allege Love is All They Have to Give
Top Tens
- Top Ten Terms for Getting a Blowjob While Taking a Shit
- Top Ten TV Shows About Pigs
- Top Ten Things Said by the Voices in Your Head
- Top Ten New Berkeley Street Vendor Products
- Top Ten Alternative Birth Control Methods
- Top Ten Restaurants Owned by Roscoe
- Top Ten Other Things to Sue the University Over
- Top Ten Pornographic Industrial Bands
- Top Ten Terms for Performing Cunnilingus on a Shitting Girl
- Top Ten Wisecracks That Can Get You Out of a Traffic Ticket
