Pile of Gunk Found

A big pile of gunk was found on the corner of Haste and Dana late Sunday afternoon. “Yeah,” said Berkeley Police Department Captain Dick (of Captain Dick and the Portholes). “That was just a really, really big, really, really gunky pile of gunk. One of the biggest gunk piles I’ve ever seen.”

The pile was promptly removed and brought to The Lab for testing. Then Captain Dick’s hamster ate it. Then shit it out. Then they smoked it. Captain Dick and his hamster. There was supposed to be a set of parentheses around that last sentence. Instead of it being its own sentence.