Former ASUC President Irami Osei-Frimpong has announced the formation of his new “Students for Evil” political party. The new student political group will be dedicated to the spread of evil throughout UC Berkeley.
“I simply did not feel that evil was being fairly represented in the ASUC,” said Frimpong. “According to some studies, over 65 percent of the students on campus believe evil is the most efficient means of government. I decided to form a new party to give evil a voice which has been absent for so long.”
Among the items on the party’s platform are an increase in funding for the forces of evil (CalPIRG), changing the school mascot from the Golden Bear to the Evil Git, construction of a nuclear waste facility at the Valley Life Sciences Building to generate revenue, and the construction of a more efficient transportation system to ship student funds down the toilet.
Approval ratings for “Students for Evil” have been very high. Students say they are excited about the new party and the opportunities it presents for the growth and funding of evil on campus.
“This is exactly the sort of organization I’d like to see in power,” said sophomore Irene Walton. “Good has been in power for a long time and look where that’s gotten us.”
The party is expected to make a strong showing in the next election. It has already announced Osei-Frimpong as its first presidential candidate and he is expected to win in a landslide. Among other notable figures is the party’s student senatorial candidate, David Cash.
Chancellor Robert Berdahl had little to say about the new party other than that he was pleased that UC Berkeley was so wonderfully diverse that its students would accept even the forces of evil with open arms.