Top Ten Other Things to Sue the University Over

  1. I skinned my knee!

  2. Courtney’s dirty whoredom

  3. Aiding and abetting the Prince of Norway
  4. Chancellor Berdhal’s Purple Probe (Ford, that is)
  5. The asbestos that may, at times, be present in the Res Halls
  6. Hiring a Mormon as the head football coach
  7. Botulism
  8. Period three days late
  9. Stealing the look and feel of MacOS
  10. Post-graduate ignorance