Top Ten Wisecracks That Can Get You Out of a Traffic Ticket

  1. Speeding? I didn’t even spill my beer!

  2. But Officer, all I want to do is have some fun.

  3. I had to speed cuz this car is stolen, and I just knocked off a liquor store… Oh, and your partner’s body is in the trunk.
  4. I have the sort of diarrhea they make History Channel documentaries about.
  5. No, dumbass, I was hoping you could tell me why you stopped me.
  6. Sure, the sign said “Stop,” but it didn’t say when to stop. I’m stopped now, so what’s the problem?
  7. Your mom was speeding.
  8. Your partner’s body is in the trunk.
  9. But I slowed down after I hit the kid.
  10. I’m the ambassador to Czxywmnrfistan