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She keeps asking if she can burrow money
In spring, as soon as the first grass peeks through the snow, she
She got a C in English because all she can say is
She covers her bedroom floor with CosmoGirl! … Read More
Squat Claimers
Silt on My Face
Two in the Pinkerton
Mother Loads
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves: Uncensored
The Further Adventures of John Shovel-Cock
Sluice Boxes, Loose Foxes and Moose Cockses (illegal in US)
Sluice Boxes and Loose Foxes … Read More
Holocausts you a fortune
Strippers are Jewish women
You didn’t go for a couple of weeks and now every time you go back they ask how come you never visit
Stripper’s name is Crystal Nacht
You’re OPEC and you don’t … Read More
Your Cal sweatshirt is dirty
Because you wear a stylish blouse, miniskirt, and heels to bed every night
Zipper stuck on onesie
Your bookie accepts laundry as currency
Out of tampons
Show me someone who can get through fifty minutes … Read More
World’s second best pesto
Training for being upcoming contestant in who wants to be a millionaire
500k for Elisha Cuthbert blowjob; 500k for guy to knock her teeth out before hand
Paying two dogs to fall in love
Two nights … Read More
Can’t kill you unless he’s had a few beers first
Won’t say I love you back
Always kills you with his eyes closed
Business card trademark not as cool or complicated as old blood of fifty orphans spread across a … Read More
These “Kiss Me I’m a Leper” shirts don’t work very well at all
INDIAN BURN!
Is that a banana in your sock or are you just glad to see me?
Wow, I’ve already lost 140 pounds on this diet
I … Read More
Paraplegic midget actually black slang for really talented Basketball player
He was on steroids … for his asthma
He only became paraplegic midget at half-time
His canine companion was Air Bud
He had more heart … and more lung because … Read More
Throwing a really hard penny off the top of a model of the Empire State Building
Lite-brite saber
Syphil-them
Prison consensual sex
Single Sclerosis
NRA: National Ruffle Association
The Heck’s Angels
Black guy in cage
Bungie walking
Drinking a gallon … Read More
You married a slutty horse
Hideous centaur children
Douches with molasses, apples and salt
Find the words “Mrs. Ed” written lovingly all over her day-planner
Everytime you answer the phone, hear 4 minutes of a horse trying to hang up … Read More
