- Holocausts you a fortune
- Strippers are Jewish women
- You didn’t go for a couple of weeks and now every time you go back they ask how come you never visit
- Stripper’s name is Crystal Nacht
- You’re OPEC and you don’t
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- Your Cal sweatshirt is dirty
- Because you wear a stylish blouse, miniskirt, and heels to bed every night
- Zipper stuck on onesie
- Your bookie accepts laundry as currency
- Out of tampons
- Show me someone who can get through fifty minutes
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- World’s second best pesto
- Training for being upcoming contestant in who wants to be a millionaire
- 500k for Elisha Cuthbert blowjob; 500k for guy to knock her teeth out before hand
- Paying two dogs to fall in love
- Two nights
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- Can’t kill you unless he’s had a few beers first
- Won’t say I love you back
- Always kills you with his eyes closed
- Business card trademark not as cool or complicated as old blood of fifty orphans spread across a
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- These “Kiss Me I’m a Leper” shirts don’t work very well at all
- INDIAN BURN!
- Is that a banana in your sock or are you just glad to see me?
- Wow, I’ve already lost 140 pounds on this diet
- I
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- Paraplegic midget actually black slang for really talented Basketball player
- He was on steroids … for his asthma
- He only became paraplegic midget at half-time
- His canine companion was Air Bud
- He had more heart … and more lung because
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- He’s not the sherpa-est knife in the drawer
- Wheelchair doesn’t even have mountain tires
- Dies while watching a movie about Mt. Everest
- Allergic to backpacks
- He keeps asking if you need a drywall job done
- That’s the third jacket he’s
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- A drag queen hits her penis with a hammer
- George bush wonders what the Dukes of Hazard are doing
- A gay teenager asks if it’s time to hit the showers
- The wish of a white middle class child comes true
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- Throwing a really hard penny off the top of a model of the Empire State Building
- Lite-brite saber
- Syphil-them
- Prison consensual sex
- Single Sclerosis
- NRA: National Ruffle Association
- The Heck’s Angels
- Black guy in cage
- Bungie walking
- Drinking a gallon
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- You married a slutty horse
- Hideous centaur children
- Douches with molasses, apples and salt
- Find the words “Mrs. Ed” written lovingly all over her day-planner
- Everytime you answer the phone, hear 4 minutes of a horse trying to hang up
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