Top Ten Diseases You Wish You Had

  1. Peter Parkinson’s and Spider-Maningitis
  2. Genital Mono
  3. Whatever you get from sleeping with Jessica Alba
  4. Alzheimer’s if you recently watched your family be mauled by tigers
  5. That type of cancer that makes you crap Beanie Babies
  6. Tickle-Cell Anemia
  7. HIV Negative
  8. The disease like in that porno where the nurse has to give you a blowjob or you die
  9. Dance Fever
  10. Adult Alcohol Syndrome