Top Ten Signs Sex with a Polar Bear Is Going Poorly

  1. Safety word “grwerwerwer” sounds lot like signal for fuck me harder “grwerfwere”
  2. You already went black bear and now you can’t go back
  3. Relationship dying due to language bear-ier
  4. “Fuck Buddies” means different things to each of you
  5. Everywhere you try to kiss smells like fish
  6. Apparently you were supposed to use the flare gun to distract him
  7. Already killed and ate most of you
  8. You’re fucking freezing
  9. Everyone in the zoo is staring
  10. You’re a penguin