- Sang “God Bless America” at Bush’s inauguration
- Headline act at Disoriented Street People Talent Show
- Opened for Pink Floyd at Berlin Wall
- Breakfast Lounge at Sunshine Insane Asylum
- Sang national anthem at 1990 World Series
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- “What do you mean I can’t cancel class just because the A’s lost?”
- “I’ll assign your book to my class if you give me that jelly donut”
- “I don’t give A’s because that just encourages them to stay.
- “Who finished
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- Stop wondering and form two lines
behind either register!!
- Wardrobe completely ruined by grease
stains
- Never been recognized for their true
culinary genius
- Even the dorks at Domino’s get cars for
deliveries
- It’s hard to be patient when you were
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- You need a dictionary to comprehend the word “graduation”
- You spend most of class time talking on cellular phone
- You forget exactly which multiple of four years college is supposed to be
- Beer and/or marijuana are staples of diet
- Semester
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- Vanilla Ice
- The Small Dix Crew
- Pock and the Acne Boyz
- Snot Snotty- D
- MC Mallet
- The VD Posse
- Slurpee Ice
- MC Mayonnaise
- Dr. Sill and the Way Silly Posse
- Public Enema
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- Shouldn’t we close physical reality for Martin Luther King, Jrs. birthday?
- Is reincarnated paper more expensive than recycled?
- What are the chances of finding the true meaning of life in a fortune cookie?
- Does physical reality have call waiting?
- Does
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- “You know, doggie style isn’t passe
anymore.”
- “I’d love to share some of my bodily
fluids with you.”
- “I know a charming little motel with a
cheap hourly rate.”
- “My friend and I made a bet and I need
to
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- Wild Sex
- We might reveal mystic secrets about our name
- Nothing illegal involved (except with printing, marketing, and distribution)
- Provides necessary qualifications for vice-presidency
- Editors won’t kill you for missed deadlines (bylaws limit them to maiming)
- We know a cheap
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- “What’s that horrible stench?”
- “That’s it. I’m an atheist.”
- “What did I ever do to you?”
- “Why do you always say such
disgusting things?”
- “Oh, great. Now I have to kill myself.”
- “But what about that D-, professor?
- “I’d go
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- Convince other passengers that flight crew members are all evil robots
- Offer to pop people’s ears with your tongue
- Scream that you see Rod Serling on the wing
- Complain that there is not enough room on trays to play with
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