- Always clap when “Applause” sign comes on
- Don’t make obvious balding or senility references
- Don’t jeer for over half the period after setting the class curve
- Never shout “They’re Greeeaaaat!!!!” when eating Frosted Flakes in lecture
- Always call in a
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- Leave
- Discuss grade with drunk professor
- Make lewd gestures with beer bottles
- Train house dog to pump keg
- Pour beer on girls’ T- shirts
- Mumble to yourself and look tough
- Replace drunk people’s beer with urine
- Wander around in drunken
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- Using hand puppets for non-medicinal purposes
- Abusive application of hair mousse
- Throwing cabbage at foreigners
- Calling a judge “sweet hips”
- Panhandling with a pitchfork
- Spreading lice to a police officer
- Performing unauthorized brain transplants
- Imitating Jermaine Jackson
- Getting married to
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- Pretend to be security guard and arrest people for buying textbooks they know
they’ll never use
- Yell “Fire! Fire! Oh, never mind, it’s just in Nutritional Science.”
- Test “human domino” theory
- Incite book burning
- Reading for first four weeks of
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- Angst and Alienation To Go
- Cafe Spam Delight
- Pseudo Intellectual Espresso
- Cafe Obnoxio
- Mocha n’ Grits
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- “How does it feel being the nation’s biggest joke?”
- “This ‘New World Order’ is your secret plan to take over the universe, isn’t it?”
- “Quick– how many houses of congress
are there?”
- “Do you feel that cabinet members are envious
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- What if all these homeless people are
Berkeley graduates?
- What if my senior thesis is politically
incorrect?
- Am I supposed to think “Sylvia” is
funny?
- What if tie-dyes go out of style?
- What if I have an acid flashback during
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- Examathon
- Power flunk
- Deorgasm
- Pukemonger
- Supraflatulence
- Churl finger
- Hellarific
- Unphlegm
- Detenurize
- Snidelicious
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- Will assist colleagues in Big Game brawls
- Can handle a bullwhip
- Will pay for pizza during tenure hearing
- Can consistently bowl over 160
- Isn’t scared to speak out and agree with everyone else on any issue
- Won’t guzzle beer from
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- Hades/ ML Olympus (tie)
- Los Angeles
- Antarctica
- Club Med Bahamas
- Downtown Beirut
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