- Always clap when “Applause” sign comes on
- Don’t make obvious balding or senility references
- Don’t jeer for over half the period after setting the class curve
- Never shout “They’re Greeeaaaat!!!!” when eating Frosted Flakes in lecture
- Always call in a bomb threat two full working days before your test
- Don’t ask professor for a higher grade immediately after sex
- Be generous with words like “messiah” on teacher evaluation form
- Don’t shave legs in section
- Send thank you notes to people you cheat from during tests
- Always address professors and T.A.s as “Your Majesty”
