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“Mmmm… ohhh… mmmm… do it baby…”
“Would you like to go to Bible study?”
“No. You really don’t want that class. Oh, no! “
“Aquarius: You will enter into a long-term commitment today. Assess your strengths and wea
“Your registration … Read More
Nirvana – “’Smells Like Teen Spirit’ Remixes”
Snoop Doggy Dogg – “Hooked on Phonics”
Madonna – “Dining In, Eating Out”
Garth Brooks – “Garth Garth Baby”
Michael Jackson – “This One’s for the Children”
Techno Rave Masters – “Unplugged”
Hammer … Read More
Bob Dole says so.
Olympic figure skaters wear full body armor to practice.
Kindergartners outgun their teachers in New York public schools.
New Kids on the Block concerts sell out due to guns-for-tickets
Disneyworld attendance in Florida drops .01% … Read More
Any girl who is “not feeling fresh today”
The Energizer Bunny
Larry H. Parker
The Magnavox dog
Sally Struthers trying to persuade people to feed the children
The Pizza Hut Bigfoot delivery dork
Russ from the Lake Edna KFC
The … Read More
Gyne-Lotrimin
Ben-Gay
Preparation H
KY Jelly
Clearasil
… Read More
Write a goofy book about the future, but make everything vague
Watch Seinfeld reruns when they were new
Bring back aluminum cans used before recycling was invented and get
Return to the good ol’ days of love and … Read More
Leave
Discuss grade with drunk professor
Make lewd gestures with beer bottles
Train house dog to pump keg
Pour beer on girls’ T- shirts
Mumble to yourself and look tough
Replace drunk people’s beer with urine
Wander around in drunken … Read More
Using hand puppets for non-medicinal purposes
Abusive application of hair mousse
Throwing cabbage at foreigners
Calling a judge “sweet hips”
Panhandling with a pitchfork
Spreading lice to a police officer
Performing unauthorized brain transplants
Imitating Jermaine Jackson
Getting married to … Read More
Pretend to be security guard and arrest people for buying textbooks they know
Yell “Fire! Fire! Oh, never mind, it’s just in Nutritional Science.”
Test “human domino” theory
Incite book burning
Reading for first four weeks of … Read More
Angst and Alienation To Go
Cafe Spam Delight
Pseudo Intellectual Espresso
Cafe Obnoxio
Mocha n’ Grits
… Read More
