- Nirvana – “’Smells Like Teen Spirit’ Remixes”
- Snoop Doggy Dogg – “Hooked on Phonics”
- Madonna – “Dining In, Eating Out”
- Garth Brooks – “Garth Garth Baby”
- Michael Jackson – “This One’s for the Children”
- Techno Rave Masters – “Unplugged”
- Hammer
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- Bob Dole says so.
- Olympic figure skaters wear full body armor to practice.
- Kindergartners outgun their teachers in New York public schools.
- New Kids on the Block concerts sell out due to guns-for-tickets
swap.
- Disneyworld attendance in Florida drops .01%
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- Any girl who is “not feeling fresh today”
- The Energizer Bunny
- Larry H. Parker
- The Magnavox dog
- Sally Struthers trying to persuade people to feed the children
- The Pizza Hut Bigfoot delivery dork
- Russ from the Lake Edna KFC
- The
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- Gyne-Lotrimin
- Ben-Gay
- Preparation H
- KY Jelly
- Clearasil
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- Write a goofy book about the future, but make everything vague
- Watch Seinfeld reruns when they were new
- Bring back aluminum cans used before recycling was invented and get
rich (Yahoo!)
- Return to the good ol’ days of love and
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- Breathing heavily but you’re the one having a baby
- Asks you to turn your head and hiccup
- Keeps telling you how many merit badges you’re earning
- He’s fondling them with his rectum
- What are the chances the other person in
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- Using hand puppets for non-medicinal purposes
- Abusive application of hair mousse
- Throwing cabbage at foreigners
- Calling a judge “sweet hips”
- Panhandling with a pitchfork
- Spreading lice to a police officer
- Performing unauthorized brain transplants
- Imitating Jermaine Jackson
- Getting married to
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- Pretend to be security guard and arrest people for buying textbooks they know
they’ll never use
- Yell “Fire! Fire! Oh, never mind, it’s just in Nutritional Science.”
- Test “human domino” theory
- Incite book burning
- Reading for first four weeks of
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- Angst and Alienation To Go
- Cafe Spam Delight
- Pseudo Intellectual Espresso
- Cafe Obnoxio
- Mocha n’ Grits
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- “How does it feel being the nation’s biggest joke?”
- “This ‘New World Order’ is your secret plan to take over the universe, isn’t it?”
- “Quick– how many houses of congress
are there?”
- “Do you feel that cabinet members are envious
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