Top Ten Berkeley Student Anxities

  1. What if all these homeless people are
    Berkeley graduates?
  2. What if my senior thesis is politically
    incorrect?
  3. Am I supposed to think “Sylvia” is
    funny?
  4. What if tie-dyes go out of style?
  5. What if I have an acid flashback during
    my medical school interview?
  6. Is something wrong with my ears or
    does Rick Starr really sound like that?
  7. What if I’m never an oppressed minority?
  8. What if the bell ringers in the
    Campanile escape and ax butcher me?
  9. What if the ASUC actually had some
    kind of power?
  10. What if the Hate Man is my long lost
    father?