Top Ten Signs that a New National Crime Bill is Needed

  1. Bob Dole says so.
  2. Olympic figure skaters wear full body armor to practice.
  3. Kindergartners outgun their teachers in New York public schools.
  4. New Kids on the Block concerts sell out due to guns-for-tickets
  5. Disneyworld attendance in Florida drops .01% due to attacks on
    foreign tourists.
  6. Carjackers are being carjacked.
  7. Mortal Kombat III is released, with 20 new Authentic Insta-Death
  8. LA freeway traffic moving so slow that highway shootings can’t
  9. Erik and Lyle Menendez get off scot-free.
  10. NRA starts to send out free memberships to children.