Warning : Trying to access array offset on value of type bool in /services/http/users/s/squelch/wp-content/plugins/search-everything/config.php on line 29 top ten | The Heuristic Squelch
Always clap when “Applause” sign comes on
Don’t make obvious balding or senility references
Don’t jeer for over half the period after setting the class curve
Never shout “They’re Greeeaaaat!!!!” when eating Frosted Flakes in lecture
Always call in a … Read More
Leave
Discuss grade with drunk professor
Make lewd gestures with beer bottles
Train house dog to pump keg
Pour beer on girls’ T- shirts
Mumble to yourself and look tough
Replace drunk people’s beer with urine
Wander around in drunken … Read More
Using hand puppets for non-medicinal purposes
Abusive application of hair mousse
Throwing cabbage at foreigners
Calling a judge “sweet hips”
Panhandling with a pitchfork
Spreading lice to a police officer
Performing unauthorized brain transplants
Imitating Jermaine Jackson
Getting married to … Read More
Pretend to be security guard and arrest people for buying textbooks they know
Yell “Fire! Fire! Oh, never mind, it’s just in Nutritional Science.”
Test “human domino” theory
Incite book burning
Reading for first four weeks of … Read More
Angst and Alienation To Go
Cafe Spam Delight
Pseudo Intellectual Espresso
Cafe Obnoxio
Mocha n’ Grits
… Read More
“How does it feel being the nation’s biggest joke?”
“This ‘New World Order’ is your secret plan to take over the universe, isn’t it?”
“Quick– how many houses of congress
“Do you feel that cabinet members are envious … Read More
What if all these homeless people are
What if my senior thesis is politically
Am I supposed to think “Sylvia” is
What if tie-dyes go out of style?
What if I have an acid flashback during
… Read More
Examathon
Power flunk
Deorgasm
Pukemonger
Supraflatulence
Churl finger
Hellarific
Unphlegm
Detenurize
Snidelicious
… Read More
Will assist colleagues in Big Game brawls
Can handle a bullwhip
Will pay for pizza during tenure hearing
Can consistently bowl over 160
Isn’t scared to speak out and agree with everyone else on any issue
Won’t guzzle beer from … Read More
Hades/ ML Olympus (tie)
Los Angeles
Antarctica
Club Med Bahamas
Downtown Beirut
… Read More
