Top Ten Reasons to Submit to The Heuristic Squelch

  1. Wild Sex
  2. We might reveal mystic secrets about our name
  3. Nothing illegal involved (except with printing, marketing, and distribution)
  4. Provides necessary qualifications for vice-presidency
  5. Editors won’t kill you for missed deadlines (bylaws limit them to maiming)
  6. We know a cheap lawyer for libel suits
  7. Comedy more effective form of communication than rioting
  8. While other are laughing at your jokes you can steal their wallets
  9. Doesn’t entail significant mutilation of limbs
  10. Sends powerful messages to both houses of congress